What's This About?

My ordinary day to day life. Thoughts and musings on the realities of my existence.

Friday, August 27, 2010

What a Day - and It's Only Just Begun

Blink, blink. Morning already? What a terrible night's sleep. All night I kept thinking about a conversation I need to have with my employer. Nothing earth shattering, but I need to discuss an issue that's been on my mind for a few weeks.

I wonder how my back will feel today? Has bb shifted in the night? I've been told by a physiotherapist that as the baby is getting bigger, it is pressing more and more against my ribs and the ribs are actually twisting and causing searing back pain. Hmmm, feels like I'll be okay today. The back pain isn't excruciating, just barely there.

Let's see, what's next on my agenda? Measure my ketones and jump in the shower. Jump being a relative term - more like a slowly orchestrated, carefully non-twisting, trying not to make any sudden movements type of action.

Next I need to make lunches and snacks for Daniel and myself. Oh dear, it's already 7:00am and I haven't even started making my breakfast yet. No clean bowls either (I wish I had more energy to deal with the day-to-day chores). A mixing bowl will have to do. A handful of rolled oats, some chopped nuts and into the microwave for 3 minutes. A splash of soy milk later and I'm tucking into my favourite breakfast meal. Yum.

As soon as I'm done I put the timer on and get on the elliptical. This is Daniel's cue to get dressed before the timer beeps. He's usually pretty co-operative, but this morning he's managed to get himself tangled in his pj shirt. I can hear him calling me but he'll have to wait until I'm finished exercising. BEEP! Okay, I'm done. Grab my watch as I pass the bookcase in the hall and then help Daniel get dressed, replace the clothes in his daycare backpack and scoot him into the bathroom to finish getting ready.

At last we're ready to leave the house - it can't really be 7:30! I am sooooo late. Quick check: lunches - yes, both of us are dressed - yes, bags ready for work and daycare - yes. I think we're ready to go. "Daniel, aren't you wearing socks today?" Apparently not, so I have to go down the hall and get a pair from his chest of drawers so that he has a pair handy in case his feet get cold later on. We pile into the van and Daniel starts to tell me that he's forgotten his 2 favourite stuffies in the house. Too bad little guy, they'll have to wait for you until you get home tonight.

After dropping him off at daycare, I rush to join the rush-hour traffic lineup. NOOO! I can't believe my eyes. There's been an accident between an armoured truck and large SUV and they're blocking both lanes heading down Nordel to the Alex Fraser Bridge. Crud. It just isn't my day today. The delays just keep piling up.

I arrive at work half and hour late. I probably look like garbage, much like how I feel. How am I going to manage this for the next 2 months?

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Catching Up

Please come in. How are you? Let me pour you a cup of tea and we can sit and chat for a little while. It's been so long since we've spoken. A typical summer, so much has been happening with little time left to catch my breath, let alone sit at the computer and type.

In a nutshell, much abbreviated, this is what my family and I have been up to over the summer holidays:

At the beginning of my holidays I took Daniel up to Grandma & Grandpa J's log house in the woods. It is such a magical place. Daniel is so fortunate to have such a great place to visit with and get to know his grandparents. That same week we spent some time with one of my best friends and her two little ones picking berries at one of the local berry farms.

The following week Daryle, Daniel and I went camping in a rented motorhome. It was so nice to get away together and relax. We stayed at the following campgrounds: Skihist, Lac le Jeune and Knutsford. Also, Chris welcomed us to join him and his family at his cabin on the Shuswap. Of course we had a great time and Daniel made friends with little Ava, Chris' grandaughter. We spent time out on the lake, swimming and boating, and Daniel and Ava caught little minnows and played in the water near the dock. They were like two little bush babies - so cute (dirty and dishevelled, but cute nonetheless).

The week following our camping trip was pleasantly busy. On Monday we again joined T and her kiddos for some berry picking. On Tuesday Grandma and Grandpa N, Daryle's parents, came over for lunch and a visit. On Wednesday they watched Daniel while I attended my doctor's appointment and had my 3 hour gestational diabetes lab test done. On Thursday morning Daniel and I packed up and headed over to another dear friend's house to spend the night with her and her family.

On Sunday, August 1st, the three of us caught the ferry and had a fleeting visit with Mom & Dad J. for Mom's 65th birthday. We caught the first ferry up and the last ferry back. Thank goodness it was a long weekend, so the ferry lineups weren't terrible.

On August 3rd I returned to work after a whirlwind three weeks off. Yikes, what a long time it took me to catch up! Just when I caught up I took half a day off to catch the ferry back up to Mom & Dad J's for the Writers' Fest weekend. Daniel came with me so that Daryle could get in lots of time working on his bedroom.

What a fabulous weekend. We attended Ian Brown (wow, what a speaker) and Nino Ricci's lectures on Friday evening, Louise Penny's on Saturday morning and the most powerful speaker was Denise Chong. To my utter embarassment, I broke down in tears both during her lecture and afterwards while waiting in line with Dad to have his book signed.

Daniel stayed behind with my parents after I headed home on Sunday. I'm sure the three of them have been having a blast. For myself though, I've been on autopilot. I actually drove almost the entire way to the daycare lady's house before realizing what I was doing and on Monday I asked Daryle if he was going to pick Daniel up from daycare. Yikes, my brain is such mush these days.

So, I hope you enjoyed your cup of tea. Can I pour you another one? I haven't yet heard about what you've been up to over the summer...

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Not Our Usual Neck of the Woods

The three of us watch in awe as the yearling bear in front of us munches on clumps of clover and dandelions along the edge of the road. He knows we're there, barely lifting his great head in acknowledgement, but is quite content to keep eating. A couple of cars pull in ahead of us to watch as well. Cameras are raised as the vehicle occupants try to catch a decent shot of the bear. Thank goodness nobody gets out of their vehicles.

Daniel comments on how soft the bear's fur looks. Okay, kiddo, rule #1: don't get out of the van. He looks fluffy and cute, but he's a wild animal and we're here to observe what he's doing with minimal impact on him. If it looks like we're disturbing him, we'll drive away and leave him to his own devices.

Yikes! A motorcycle has pulled in ahead of the group of cars. Bear apparently doesn't like motorcycles: His eyes focus on the rider, he no longer looks like a peaceful, relaxed animal. It looks more like he's gearing up to charge. The rider quickly gets the picture and leaves. Instantly, the bear resumes his browsing. Definitely a wild animal - no cute fuzzies any longer.

We've been travelling along the Duffy Lake Road on a brief escape from our usual weekend lives. This morning after breakfast I noticed that the eczema on my fingers was flaring up again. I don't know what I'm stressed about, but the eczema along with little episodes of my heart racing and being very short-tempered suggest that a wee break would be a good idea. So I suggested to Daryle that we go on a little circle trip. After a bit of convincing he agreed. A few minutes later we were packed and ready to go!

As we pulled out of the driveway we decided to make our way along the Sea-to-Sky Highway and then take the Duffy Lake Road to Lillooet where we'll spend the night. Tomorrow we'll drive down the Fraser Canyon and head back home. We haven't done this trip since before Daniel was born and it's one that I'm particularly fond of; drastic changes in temperature, scenery, wildlife, plant life and so on.

Although we didn't turn on the radio or put a CD on, the van was far from quiet. While Daryle and I talked about everything under the sun, Daniel pointed out crows, cows, cars and waterfalls.

I couldn't believe my eyes when we drove through Squamish in search of lunch. There's actually a restaurant that serves only grilled cheese sandwiches, aptly called "Grilled Frommage". The food was great: I had the Whoa Nellie (roast beef, swiss cheese and horseradish on sourdough), while Daryle and Daniel both had the Missionary (cheese slices on white). Mmmmm... yummy.

We stopped briefly in Whistler to stretch our legs and let Daniel romp on a playground. After a quick jaunt up the highway, our next stop was in Pemberton to purchase a snack and something to drink, then we hit the road again. Much to our surprise the road heading out of Pemberton was flooded in a couple of spots! At least the water wasn't terribly deep.

With each switchback we climbed it seemed that the plant life changed slightly, from moisture-loving to more drought-tolerant varieties. We kept our eyes peeled for wildlife, hoping to catch a glimpse of something big like a bear or mountain sheep. Boy, were we in luck! Daryle noticed the bear in the ditch at the side of the road, a bit of brown fuzz amidst the sea of green plants. After we turned the van around and pulled over, the bear climbed out of the ditch and grazed quite openly just yards from us, only the two lanes of roadway separated us.

As we pull away from the bear and leave it to its munching, I feel blessed. It has been such a treat to watch this beautiful animal. I wonder what interesting experiences the rest of our trip will bring?

Thursday, June 17, 2010

My New Look

Well? What do you think? Not very inspiring is it? I didn't do myself any justice this morning when I got ready for work. I felt crummy about putting on runners for extra support. Ick. Not that I'm particularly vain about my footwear, but runners at work? It was downhill from there, actually it has been downhill for quite a while. I've stopped wearing my makeup and certainly haven't bothered fixing my hair in anything resembling a 'do'.

So, in preparation for my trip to the hairdresser tonight, I went online and did a quick virtual makeover using today's very plain, very dull look. Although the scowl is very off-putting and the picture is quite grainy, there's an marked improvement. I tried on various hairstyles: long and curly, very short, poufy, symmetrical, asymmetrical, and so on. This was the only one that really appealed to me. I 'applied' very minimal makeup so that I would still resemble myself.

Step #1: get hair cut fairly short - grow bangs out
Step #2: style hair nicely in the morning
Step #3: put on a bit of makeup in the morning
Step #4: actually choose something nice to wear - not just what happens to tumble out of the closet

I'm honestly surprised I didn't feel better about things this morning. I'm actually quite pleased with how life in general is going: I'm thrilled to be expecting child #2, my back and headache issues have been resolved, I have a doting husband and loving son, last night I enjoyed an aquacize class with a close friend, work is going well, and my garden looks quite nice. What more could I ask for? Supportive shoes that look cute and don't squeak.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Score!

Nope - I'm not referring to the FIFA World Cup. I scored, big time, at the fabric store on the weekend.

My sister accompanied me on my big excursion to the fabric store. I just had to make the most of their sale before it was over! She was soooo patient. She endured my indecisiveness and pickiness with a smile and cheerfully helped me dig through the piles of fabric bolts and manouever through the quagmire of zipper selection. I'm so new to this game, I felt rather lost and confused; thank goodness she was there to help me! At one point I had chosen some really beautiful fabric that was on sale as 'buy 1 meter for $24 and get 1 meter free'. Then we explored further into the back of the store and found bolts of last season's fabric made by the same manufacturer on sale for "buy 1 meter for $14 and get 3 meters free'. Well, I can't tell you how fast I dumped the $24/m fabric and hunted for something acceptable in last season's pile.

So, in an effort to bring our patio furniture back to life, I bought 12 meters (buy 1 meter and get 3 meters free) of last year's outdoor fabric (8 in a neutral light brown to cover seat cushions, 2 in a solid green for throw cushions and 2 more in a green/brown strip for more throw cushions). My other expenditures for the day were: a membership for the rest of the year, zippers for the cushions, inexpensive white fabric to hold the cushions together while the covers are in the wash. My bill came to just over $100 including taxes. Not bad considering that we picked up the love seat and two chairs at the curb for nothing!

I love a sale. Oh, and I've just heard that some of my favourite paper packs for scrapbooking are on sale for half price over the next week...

Friday, June 4, 2010

What an Excellent Dinner!

"If I don't have any timeouts today can we go out for dinner tonight?" Daniel asks, trying out his negotiating skills as we leave the house this morning.

"Sure, but if you have a timeout, you'll have to make dinner for me." What a mean mom I am. But I'm quite determined not to cook dinner now that he's put the idea into my head. Regardless of Daniel's behaviour during the day I won't be preparing a meal. Sweet. However, I'm optimistic that he'll do well as this is his own idea, his own bargaining.

Hours later when Daryle and Daniel arrive home; a crying Daniel climbs out of the truck. Daryle explains that Daniel's quite upset that he'd had TWO timeouts at daycare. Oh well, no dinner out tonight. We explain that he can try again tomorrow, but of course that's not what he wants to hear. Pouting and quite angry, he stomps down the hall to his bedroom. I can hardly keep from laughing. He's so cute when he's ticked off.

After he's calmed down, I remind him that he'll be making dinner for me. Soon I'm sitting down to eat the most delicious bowl of cereal I've ever had. What a great kid!

Friday, May 28, 2010

My Keys - Oh, Where Are My Keys?

While it's not unusual that I misplace my keys, it is unusual to search for them in front of an audience. I'm in the lab reception area at the hospital. I've searched my bag, purse, and pockets and now I'm proceeding to entertain everyone in the room by emptying the contents of my bag onto the reception area table. "I know they must be here - bear with me just a moment." I don't want to get out into the parking lot to find that I need to come back into the hospital and retrace my steps in the search for them.

Where are they?!

I shake my bag to listen for the familiar soft clinking sound they make. Nothing.

Let's see. I remember parking, getting out of the van. Did I lock it? Hope so, but I don't recall specifically. Then I sat and waited in the chair nearest the Tim Horton's in one of BC Women's Hospital reception areas, writing in my notebook while keeping an eye open for someone to come and fetch me for my introduction to the CHILD Study. Still can't picture having my keys. I had been startled when approached by a very young man who introduced himself as Michael, I quickly gathered my things and we chatted as we wove our way through the maze of hallways to the study's offices. Did the keys fall out of my bag in my hurry to gather my things?

After reviewing the details and expectations of participating in the study, I signed the consent forms and Michael gave me the official "welcome to the study" schpeal. I asked, smiling and making gestures of fireworks exploding, if I could expect streamers and confetti. Good thing Michael had a sense of humour. We tried to plough through as many questionnaires as possible in the time we had before heading down to the lab to draw some blood. Such questions! What vitamins or herbal supplements did I take before I was expecting, and what am I taking now that I am expecting? How stressed or out-of-control versus in-control do I feel? What foods had I been craving or eating that are different than my usual pre-pregnancy choices? What did I consider to be my position in society? At the lab I waited for my turn to give my blood sample; Michael didn't miss the opportunity to continue the questionnaire quest. We began filling out another very in-depth questionnaire about my diet. After two vials of blood were taken, I returned to the lab reception area and Michael handed me a large envelope stuffed with more questionnaires to complete and mail back to the hospital.

I'm slightly embarrassed by the sight of my personal things heaped on the table in front of me. I feel quite abandoned by my senses. Funny, none of the questionnaires asked how scatter-brained I feel.  WHERE ARE MY KEYS? Finally, in a last-ditch effort I turn my bag upside down over the table. Clunk. They tumble out onto the pile of my belongings on the table. Thank goodness, what a relief!

As Michael guides me back to the Tim Horton's I wonder if I'm being compared to other mothers in the study. After unlocking the van and climbing in, I laugh. Poor Michael, so polite and accommodating, I don't think he knew what to do while I was hunting for my keys. I'll bet he didn't know what he was getting into when he decided to participate in the administration side of the study. Dealing with expectant moms day in and day out I'm sure has its challenges and bizarre moments.

Sunday, May 23, 2010

New Computer Conquered!!

Well, after struggling all day with various installation issues I've finally got the new computer up and running, with all the super important programs operating correctly. We'll decommission the old computer soon, then it might take to flying through the air before its final trip to the recycling depot.

Glitch #1: Parallel ports not supported with new systems. I can't believe that I'm so out of touch with printers that I didn't know the cables have all changed. They're no longer the clunky parallel ports of old, but a new sleek USB style. This was the one area that I had thought Ian, the computer guy, had fallen asleep at the switch with. How could he assume we didn't use a printer? Of course he did, he just assumed that we had one that had been made after the dinosaur age. Oh well, time to go buy a new one I suppose.

Glitch #2: Front USB port won't recognize memory stick. A few months ago I bought a memory stick thinking that it was the way to go as far as a movable, stable media for file storage. When I plugged it into the front of the new CPU tower the computer refused to even recognize it. Snotty computer! So, I chatted online with the manufacturer's tech person and was informed that the stick wouldn't work in the front, I would have to use it in one of the back ports instead. Arg. The setup of my computer center isn't exactly conducive to reaching behind the tower to fiddle with a memory stick and get it into an available USB port. I have to actually slide the tower out of the little cubby hole and squeeze my hand in behind to connect the memory stick. Joy. As I said to the tech guy "at least I'm able to access some of my key files from the old system."

Glitch #3: Quickbooks 2007 wouldn't open in Windows 7. As we had already put out a lot of money for the new computer, printer and a printer cable, I really didn't want to have to purchase a new version of Quickbooks. And I certainly didn't want the added nightmare of trying to import an older version's data into the new version or worse yet, re-enter a lot of information. So when the program wouldn't open after downloading the updates, restarting the computer and logging in as the administrator, I persevered in trying to troubleshoot the problem. I must give Quickbooks credit though, their troubleshooting guide did get the program working. Surprising, considering I'm sure they would rather me purchase a newer version of their software than continue to plod on with an old version.

So, all in all, I think I did relatively well in my quest to get the new system up and running in a reasonable amount of time. I'm pleased that I was able to manage with the little hiccups that came along. We've even picked up a new printer already (on sale!) and I should be able to do some invoicing for Daryle before the weekend is out. Now if only I could figure out where to store the computer box for 3 years for warranty purposes.

Friday, May 21, 2010

Attacking My Garden - Quite Literally

No patience for aphids, mildew, weeds. That almost sums up my feelings in the garden these days. They've all GOT TO GO!! Now. Not in five minutes - now.

Until today, I had a couple of different varieties of miniature roses. One of which didn't seem to have any level of resistance to mildew or aphids. At one point a week or two ago, I made an effort to move all ladybugs found in the garden over to the offending plant. Aren't ladybugs supposed to devour whole families of aphids in their entirety? The ones I relocated didn't seem to like the veritable buffet in front of them - they just flew away. After a couple of unsuccessful ladybug relocation sessions and a treatment or two of soapy water and removal of the most badly affected branches and leaves, a decision needed to be made. Should the offending miniature roses be removed or should I plan another method of attack? Didn't take long to make a decision and take action. In no time I had lopped off the top 90% of the bush. If it lived, great. If not, too bad - I don't want plants that attract disease and pests anyway. I will happily accommodate ornamental plants and vegetables that thrive in my garden and I have no particular desire to coddle sensitive garden divas.

So, after lopping off most of the mini rose, I held it up high, torch-like, taking it to the garden waste recycle bin. Truly, there was a small sense of victory. Death to aphids! Take that mildew! Ha! What offending plant was next?

Aaah. Buttercups. I despise buttercups. Foamy pink kneeling pad in hand I began my crawl across the lawn, hunting for and removing buttercups. Not that it took much time to hunt down my prey. At a quick glance, the lawn didn't look too bad, but upon closer inspection the dark green patches with tentacle-like arms reaching out to strangle the weak and pathetic excuse for grass betray lurking buttercup colonies. A quick jab, twist and pull. One down, 1,893 to go.

I have the good fortune to have a son who is relentless in his desire to keep his little wheelbarrow full. He's constantly appearing at my side looking for another load of weeds to take to the bin. It certainly speeds things along, as I don't have to take a break to walk the bucket over to the bin myself. We make quite a team: I crawl along the ground attacking weeds while he visits every few minutes with his trusty turtle wheelbarrow.

In the back garden I don't mind looking a little I'm on the edge of sanity, but in the front yard I do try to look a little more respectable. My kit will be a little more organized and I won't be caught wearing green socks, blue yoga pants and a shocking pink t-shirt. Not all at the same time at least. I'm sure the neighbours already think I'm a little on the loony side, I don't need to give them proof.

Date Night

What to do? I'm not sure. However, I do know that Daryle and I need to spend some time together. I've made arrangements with my sister to watch Daniel. But,  then what?

Hopefully I'll be home a little early this evening. I'll quickly whip up dinner, feed Daniel, then send him downstairs to visit with his Auntie. We're pinching pennies at the moment, so I need to think of something inexpensive or even free. Maybe we'll just go for a walk or go have coffee and desert somewhere.

Many years ago, we never had a problem trying to figure out something to do together. We'd go for a drive, watch a movie, meet with friends, walk on the beach and so on. Why am I so stumped? It could be that I'm so sleep deprived that my brain's just in survival mode - not in creative/romantic couple mode. Am I ever in that frame of mind these days? Nope. Hence the need for date night.

Let's see. I could pick up a favourite snack for each of us, 3 Muskateers chocolate bar for Daryle, Hawkins Cheesies for me, then we could go for a drive down to White Rock and take a walk along the beach and out along the pier. Perhaps even stop for an ice cream on the way back. Should bring back some nice memories and give us plenty of time to chat without a lot of distractions.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

My Computer is Beginning to Sprout Wings

Really. It will need them when I either hurl it out the window or over the side of the Alex Fraser Bridge. Something is wrong with it - seriously wrong. After about 10 minutes of operating it restarts with no warning. No opportunity to save what you're working on, complete an online transaction or simply close any open programs. Black. The screen turns black.

So, I contacted my trusty computer guy - Ian. He's fantastic. I think we'll just turf our old computer and get a new one with all the new bells and whistles. Or at the very least, doesn't restart every few minutes. He's given me a quote for two different systems. I'll have to do a little bit of research to determine which will be my best option, but I think I'll go with the one that has twice as much memory as the other. Just need to verify compatibility issues for some of my programs.

In the meantime, keep your eyes peeled if you're in the Delta area and be careful driving under the Alex Fraser Bridge. There may be a computer headed your way.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

An Interesting Invitation

I've been invited to participate in an allergy study being conducted across Canada. As I've always been interested in allergies and how they seem to be increasingly impacting our population, I'm a very willing participant. Interestingly, the study is that it will be throwing genetics into the equation - cooool. I almost wish I could be more involved other than just being a participant, but at least I'll be involved on the periphery.

The study will be tracking me and our expected wee one over the next six years. I'll be meeting periodically with members of the study team, they'll conduct a home visit after the little one arrives and samples will be taken at pre-determined intervals. Our diet, lifestyle, stress levels, etc. will all be recorded as well as, of course, our health status.

The purpose of the study as stated in the information package: The main purpose of the CHILD (Canadian Healthy Infant Logitudinal Development) Study is to learn about how the living environments of children interact with their genetic make-up to affect their health and development.

So, if there are no health issues with the wee one, such as an abnormal ultrasound, or if it decides to enter the world before 35 weeks gestation, we'll be one of 5,000 families participating in the CHILD Study across Canada.

I can hardly wait to hear what the results of the study will be.

Monday, May 17, 2010

Was That It?

Really, was that IT? The weekend? It went by in a blink. So much for my to-do list and many plans.

I didn't feel great on Saturday. So I mostly read a book and every now and then did some things around the house. Overall I didn't do too badly: got the dishes done, laundry washed, folded and put away, made a loaf of bread, planned menues and made a grocery list for the upcoming week, and managed to have a really good read as well. Actually, aside from folding and putting the laundry away I felt like I was feeding machines throughout the day. Washer and drier, dishwasher, bread machine and so on. Thank God for machines of efficiency.

On Friday, I had promised Daniel that we would make a loaf of bread together on Saturday. So, for the first time since we've moved into the house, I dug out our bread machine. We had a blast putting the ingredients into the machine - only a bit of flour ended up all over the counter and kettle. After the machine had warmed up, it began mixing and kneading the ingredients. I don't think the machine is feeling well however. It sounded like: whun, whun , whun, whuuuuuuuuunnn, then a big pause as though it were trying to gather strength, whun, whun, whun... "Is the bread machine dying Mommy?" "Perhaps, Sweetie, let's wait and see what happens." The machine trudged noisily on and managed to churn out a loaf of bread. The house smelled sooo good. Before bed Daniel and I shared a slice of his freshly baked bread - yummy.

Daryle worked on a friend's brakes for a few hours on Saturday, then he headed into the back yard to do some work on the playground. I don't know where he gets the energy from. I could barely manage to saunter down to the lower grassy level just to chat to him.

I had much more energy on Sunday. I got out into the garden for quite a while, deadheading, weeding and a little watering. I'm fortunate that this year most of my plants are well-established and don't need much coddling. The lilies and daylilies don't mind being neglected along with the bleeding heart, false phlox, Egyptian onions, chives, oregano, mint, parsley, bachelor's buttons, azaleas, etc. The only plants I ended up watering were the newly sprouted pear or apple tree, leeks, carrots, beans, and newly planted forget-me-nots.

As I puttered in the garden, Daryle was busy with Daniel's playground. He got the swing beam and a-frame assembly up and swings attached, attached the slide and also the ladder. I was thrilled to watch Daniel finally play on his lovely playground. I'll have to make a special card for the grandparents with a photo of Daniel playing. In the evening Daryle told me he wished he'd built the playground earlier. I told him not to beat himself up about it - I'm just glad that he'll be able to get some use out of it for at least a couple more years.

As the weekend wound down, I again vanished into my book. When my parents gave it to me at Christmas I wondered what they'd been thinking. A murder mystery? Me? They're going to give me nightmares. However, after ploughing through several period dramas since the holidays, I finally picked up Louise Penny's "The Brutal Telling" and have since been completely absorbed. The author will be at the Sechelt Writers' Festival this year - I'll be making a point to attend their lecture.

Friday, May 14, 2010

Things to do this weekend

I'm just in the middle of making my usual Things to Do List. Well, not quite my usual list. This one isn't written in old English caligraphy. I love to take my time writing a beautiful list on Saturday mornings over a cup of tea.

So far this is what I've got:

  • Shopping
  • Menu for next week
  • Grocery list
  • Weeding
  • Laundry
  • Make change table pad
  • Get quote for new cushions for deck chairs
  • Take Daniel to the playground
  • Look at cost of fabric for making new covers for deck chair cushions
  • Oil deck chairs
  • Drop off wedding rings for resizing and get claws checked
  • Make loaf of bread with Daniel
  • Visit with Sylvia
Hmm. Sounds like I've got a lot planned, hope the weekend can stand up to my demands.

Perhaps I'll copy my list out in my usual fashion. "To Do Lists" are always more appealing when they're pretty.

Friday, May 7, 2010

Daniel's New Digs

For a few months now Daniel's needed to move into a big-boy bed. After several years of using his crib converted to a day bed, his feet were finally touching the end slats. Poor thing. So, having received his new furniture (unassembled and in sealed boxes) about a month ago and a weekend of yucky weather on the horizon, Daryle began assembling.

As each piece was completed, Daniel would go up to it and give it a hug. The piece de resistance was, of course, the bed. However, there was no point in assembling it until we had purchased a mattress and bedding for it. So, in the middle of one of the downpours on Sunday, we traipsed off on our shopping excursion.

At one of the local big-box stores the three of us stood in front of a wall of children's bedding. "Choose whichever sheets you like the most." I think Daniel grew a little bit with the responsibility of choosing his own bedding. So many to choose from: plain blue, patterned blue with white, sports themed, Cars movie characters, Thomas the Tank Engine, Spiderman, NHL players and team logos, etc. And if one were to look a foot or two over to the left there were Dora, Barbie, and everything pink. Yikes! In my head I'm thinking "Please Daniel, don't choose one of those, but if you do - so be it." After a couple of minutes he reached for the NHL sheet set. NHL? Hockey? Are you my child? Okay, I guess NHL it is. I didn't know he even liked hockey. New sheets in hand we leave the store and head over to another store to buy a mattress.

After Daniel had hurled himself onto all the twin sized mattresses on display, we chose one and loaded it into the van (thank goodness we'd had the forethought to remove the back set of seats before heading out shopping).

On Tuesday, Daryle finished assembling the bed and put a few of Daniel's stuffies and trinkets in the headboard. Then we both went to pick Daniel up from daycare. The look on his face was priceless when he saw his new furniture all set up in his room! He took a running jump and pounced on his new bed. He didn't even want to leave his bed to come and eat dinner. After dinner Daryle finished juggling the old furniture out and the new furniture in and I shifted the contents from the armoire to the new dresser. I made his bed with his NHL sheets and a beautiful quilt my mother had made for him. A quick purge of toys and clothes and the room had an entirely new big-boy look.

Daniel was happy enough to pass along many toys to the baby or to donate them to charity. The tiny bedroom almost looks spacious with so much stuff removed and the new furniture in place. There's much more space for Daniel to play with his cars and he has easier access to his easel, table and bookcase.

Welcome to your new digs Daniel!

Monday, March 29, 2010

Nonsensical Dream


I often fly in my dreams these days.

Last night I dreamt that I was flying low to the ground over a school field then had difficulty getting any altitude when I flew alongside a road, but managed to soar a little when I entered an orchard. For some reason though spider webs and their inherent spiders kept getting in my way as I worked my way skyward through the pink blossom-laden branches.

Then I woke up.

What can this dream mean? I haven't the foggiest idea.

Monday, March 22, 2010

If Only I Had a Brain

Oh my poor befuddled brain. I can't seem to function today. Just trying to match payments to invoices seems to be beyond me. Ugggh. And I'm about to embark on preparing the PST & GST tax remittances. Please, please brain, work for just an hour this afternoon. I'm begging - PRETTY PLEASE with sugar on top.

It was around this time last year, under very similar circumstances that I totally botched up the GST remittance. I'll have to be very, very careful not to do that again. Focus, concentrate. Breathe.

This morning I found myself confused while making lunches. Really, how difficult is it to assemble a sandwich and two light snacks? According to what actually made it to work in my lunch bag - very difficult. I also think I'd better make a beeline home after work. I don't recall turning off the DVD player/TV in the bedroom this morning. The theme music for North & South will drift down the hallway to greet me when I open the front door tonight.

I wonder how dinner preparation will go tonight? Could be interesting.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Facebook Rant

I'm considering removing myself from facebook. It seems like such a waste of time and I find myself feeling ticked-off with people I don't even keep in touch with. Perhaps I should de-friend all the people from my past that I don't have any involvement with anymore, just keep the very few that I'm close to and of course family members. Maybe I just shouldn't let it bother me at all and get on with living. I love to see photos of friends I do keep in touch with so I don't want to miss out on that.

I feel hurt when old schoolmates de-friended me. I don't know what I've done to cause them to de-friend me and perhaps they're just cleaning house and don't feel the need to keep in touch anymore. Who knows?

I've even found that it has soured gifts that I've treasured all these years. For example I've had a Christmas tree decoration from KH from probably grade 9. She has just de-friended me on facebook and I feel rather hurt. What the hell!? Tempted to dig out the Christmas decorations and chuck her present in the bin. Take that! Like she could care less; but I don't want to see the decoration again - what's the point? I certainly don't want a reminder of her on my Christmas tree ever again. Sheesh.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Healthier Habits

I've been trying to eat healthier foods lately. Of course one's definition of a healthy food varies from person to person - my aim is to reduce my junk food intake. Things like pop, chips, fries, greasy items, cookies, etc. My view of food has also changed. I'm finally coming to the realisation that everyday is not 'feast day.' While getting healthy is my goal, losing some weight in the meantime would be nice.

I'm quite happy with my efforts to make healthier choices. Last night, for example, when I was yearning for something sweet, namely icecream or cookies, I managed to use some self-control and ate a banana instead. I'm celebrating all my small victories these days - life's too short not to.

Tonight I think I'll excercise. Don't laugh. Because I haven't been very active lately I'll have to begin with a very light workout. Some stretching, light cardio, more stretching: probably go for a walk with Daryle and Daniel after work.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Super Nose

SUPER NOSE has returned. Ugghh.

This seems to be my usual first indication of being pregnant. My normally non-smelly rather nasally challenged world vanishes and is replaced with a terribly smelly nauseating one. Let me explain a little: compared to most people I usually have a very poor sense of smell, the scent needs to be quite strong for me to notice it.

On the weekend I could barely stand to be in the house. The garbage needed to be taken out and even after it was gone I couldn't get the place aired out. An hour later, with all the windows open, the stench lingered - something like rotting onion. Even the lovely chicken curry I'd made a few days ago had taken on a putrid smell. I've had to chuck it as there's absolutely no way I can put it on a plate in front of me let alone place it in my mouth.

Clothing and fabrics have taken on a new smelliness. My bad habit of leaving a load in the washer overnight has meant that most of my wardrobe has a slightly musty smell. Ick. I can't even sleep in my own bed or on the couch without smelling IT. Everything smells musty: pajamas, pillowcases, couch cushion covers, etc. I'll have to break out the Febreeze to deodorize the furniture and do a lot of laundry for all the other items. Seriously considering buying new couch cushions - they really need to be replaced anyways. Oh, I mustn't forget to buy a bunch of new kitchen cloths, mine have all suddenly vanished into the garbage, noxious stinky things!

Even gardening has become disgusting. I never knew the terrible stench it creates. Reaching over to pluck a weed and - ewwwwwww, what the heck is that cat-pee-like smell? Just my paperwhites in bloom; who knew they stunk so much? The earth smells, the flowers smell and not all in a nice way, even the air smells (I think I can now catch a whiff of the neighbourhood skunk). My dear lovely garden, reduced to a stinky pile of ickiness. I don't think I'll be out there as much in the near future.

Along with Super Nose a workplace hazard has presented itself. My little office is located at the very back of the office near the washrooms. Normally, I'm the best person for this location (can't smell much), but with Super Nose I'm being tortured. I wonder if my co-workers will notice me jumping up to turn the washroom fans on constantly? June 1st, my announcement date, is a long way down the road - I'll have to endure things as best I can until then.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

No Starlings Allowed!!

Starlings are disgusting. Of all the birds in this world I think I like starlings the least. On the weekend Daryle noticed a pair of them flying into our attic through the torn mesh covering a soffit vent hole. This means war!! Well, repairs to the mesh covering the holes anyway.

Being the handy guy he is, he made some nice stainless steel mesh screens tidily hemmed at the edges.

Installing them is no simple task though. After dinner he sets up the ladder and climbs into the attic. Being very careful to avoid the many nails poking through the roofing plywood and gingerly manoeuvring through the joists, he picks his way over to the tightest, most cramped part of the attic, where of course the soffit vent holes are located. It is so tight that he can't clearly see where the holes are, he can really only reach with his arms and hands, feeling for the holes.

Vent holes located, the next step is to remove the old torn mesh. Daryle asks me to pass him our floor scraper. We own a floor scraper? I had completely forgotten we have one, let alone what it looks like, but Daryle wants it for scraping off the old mesh from the vent holes. It's downstairs, near the hot water tank. Sure dear. As I enter the laundry room I see three nice little yellow plastic scrapers. It must be one of these. I call out "is it yellow?" Wrong, apparently it is metal and attached to a pole. Hmmm, ohhhh, you mean right here by the hot water tank. Sheepishly I pass the scraper up into the attic. Sometimes I wonder why he asks me to help him - I'm really not much help at all.

In addition to the cramped space, nails and general uncomfortableness of the attic he discovers of a few hibernating wasps. Yes, being in the attic CAN get worse. He squishes them and begins brushing them out through the soffit holes. But one isn't quite dead and manages to sting him. Ouch!!! Damned wasp - SQUISH!!

Determined to carry on and get this onerous chore over with, he now needs to attach the new screens over the holes. As he can't actually see where the holes are, he asks that I go shine a flashlight up through the holes from outside. I knock on Esme's door downstairs. "Can I borrow your flashlight? I need to shine it through the soffit holes." So, there we are, my sister and I, standing outside in the darkness, giggling like teenagers, shining lights (3 in total) up towards the soffit. What a sight we are! I can see the neighbours looking over - I wonder what they think we're doing.

The entertaining light show is repeated while Daryle fastens the mesh over the second set of holes at the back of the house. Arms tired, feet cold, and the giddiness long gone, we are relieved when our part of the task is complete. I head upstairs to give him a hand getting his tools out of the attic. Hold on a minute, he wants me to shine the flashlight up through the soffit holes at the very front of the house, by the front door. When neighbours drive by, I don't wave, I just quickly try to turn the flashlight off.

At 8:30pm Daryle heads down from the attic; exhausted, hot, stung, dusty, clothes torn and back scraped from the nails coming through the roof. He informs me that he'll resume fixing the last set of holes tomorrow night.

Things to look forward to.

Oh, and if you're wondering about the starlings, it would seem that they didn't like our attic for nesting. There was no evidence of a nest anywhere.

Friday, February 19, 2010

Numb

I feel numb these days. I don't know what to write. I just want to distance myself from the world. Cocoon, vanish, hibernate...

Tears seem to be bubbling to the surface a lot. Most of the time I'm able to think of something to distract myself, but I just want to go home and curl up in bed. Yet when I'm at home all I see are things that need to be done, washed, dusted, fixed, cleaned, organised, weeded, painted, etc.

Oh my goodness! Don't I sound dreary?!!!!

I find myself using my usual avoidance tactics. Not talking to anyone, clamming up, becoming very irritable, not being able to focus on anything. Right now it's bad. I need to figure out what's happening and deal with things.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

My Sweet Social Butterfly

I don't know how it happened. Our Daniel is so outgoing and personable - the complete opposite of his parents. I'm quite shy, withdrawn and quiet, while Daryle is... well let's just say we're not particularly sociable.

While I shrink at the thought of standing up in front of a crowd, he's not at all intimidated. On stage at his school Christmas concert he yelled "There's my Mom!" while pointing and waving, all the other children standing quietly in rows waiting for the cue to begin singing. So much for my disappearing into the anonymity of the crowd. As I sit down, my cheeks turning a brilliant shade of red, he calls out "Where's my Mom? Where'd she go?" Yikes - right here kiddo, waving back as discretely as possible.

When we're out and about, he easily strikes up conversation with anyone. Last fall, while travelling on the ferry between Langdale and Horseshoe Bay, he saw four men playing cards. Ooooo... cards. Irresistible. Over the back of our bench he watched their game intensely, and jumped at the opportunity when they invited him to join. "What's your favourite colour, animal, number, letter...?" Pretty quickly he had all four men engaged in conversation while the cards were dealt and game rules discussed. As we left the ferry terminal, he waved goodbye to his new friends as they cycled up the hill on the road heading out of Horseshoe Bay. They waved back too, what good sports.

Expressing his feelings comes easily too. He loves almost everyone and will tell them so at the drop of a hat. One of the moms of a fellow Kindergarten classmate recently told me how he had publicly declared that he loved his teacher and was crushed when she said that we don't love everybody, we like them. Apparently, a little controversy ensued: that evening her daughter asked "aren't we supposed to love everyone? Why did the teacher say Daniel couldn't love her?" The mother spoke to the teacher about how the children should be supported in expressing positive feelings and embracing kindness and goodwill, that she didn't like her daughter coming home being upset about not being able to love others. Oh dear.

We occasionally visit an elderly lady in our neighbourhood. She absolutely adores children and Daniel quite happily basks in the attention; he gives her hugs and likes to sit and chat. Any possible barriers crumble: they speak different languages and have nothing in common, but they connect nonetheless. As her health is slipping, both physically and mentally, we'll treasure their friendship while we can.

He seems to naturally feel for others, trying to help and comfort them when he sees that they're upset. Restaurant meals are often fraught when a little one nearby starts to cry. He just wants to rush over and give them a hug. Awww. We explain that the child is okay; their parents are taking good care of them, they're just hungry, tired or bored. I cherish his open-hearted empathy.

With encouragement and support, he's well on his way to becoming a well-adjusted cheerful adult. I hope his outgoing personality opens doors and presents opportunities that I've never even dreamed of. One thing I am sure of is this: he'll drag his poor socially inept parents along with him, kicking and screaming, yet all the while bursting with pride.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Closet Drumming

Recently I attempted to play Mom's drums and in an instant I was hooked. Now I find that I can't help myself: I must find an outlet for this desire to beat something with sticks.

In the opening scene of the movie "It Might Get Loud" Jack White makes a very basic electric guitar from a glass bottle, wires, piece of board and an amplifier screwed into place below the wires. He then plays it and comments "Who says you need to buy a guitar?" Inspired, I decide to make do with what I've got laying around the house. Lets see, a couple of long pens with strange rubber ends, and a very solid book chosen from the enormous pile on my night table (thanks Dad, I'm using your copy of "The Upside of Down" for a drum pad at the moment).

After settling Daniel into painting I rush off to my bedroom and bring out my drum pad and sticks. Ahhh, at last. Holding the sticks in my hands I raise one then let it drop onto the drum. TAT! The sharpness of the sound focuses my mind. All of a sudden I'm released - the worries of the day slip away and I disappear into the racket of my drumming.

At first I sound terrible; like pebbles falling randomly onto a tin roof. Whack-tap thud. Then as I become used to the weight of the sticks and my hands begin to better translate what my mind is thinking, the sound improves (a very little bit, mind). I'm able to do a drum roll, keep time with some music and my attempts to duplicate some snare drum music from my pipe band days are hilarious! Dah-dah te, dah-dah te, dah-dah te... I play for the entire 45 minutes of relative solitude after arriving home. As Daryle walks through the front door, I tuck my secret away quickly and resume my normal life. The one where I look after dinners and laundry. "Hi Hon, how was your day?"

All evening I long to drum. When I fall asleep I drum in my dreams. It is beginning to take over - I can feel my obsessive compulsive tendencies sharpening their focus again. The recollection of how the waves of sound washed over me comes back every time I close my eyes. It is a shame that Daryle dislikes noise in general - he actually cringed when I tried Mom's drums on Sunday. It wasn't just that I sounded awful, it was the sharp sounds and volume that really bothered him. I think I'd better keep this under wraps for now - but he'd better brace himself, I won't be able to contain it for long!

I can't wait to get home from work and play again, even if only for a few minutes. In anticipation, my foot is already keeping time to the music in my head and my hands are itching to pick up the sticks. I foresee a spree of instructional DVDs and books being borrowed from the library and the purchase of some sticks and a practice pad. Look out world - it might get a little louder!

Monday, February 1, 2010

My Happy Birthday

My birthday, despite myself, was lovely.

We caught the first ferry (yawn and stretch) to Langdale and spent the day with Mom and Dad.

For Daniel and Daryle, it was a particularly early start. Daniel woke Daryle up at 4:00am to show him that his very first tooth had just fallen out. Lucky he didn't swallow it in his sleep!

The day was everything I wanted it to be: low-key, relaxing, in good company, and yummy! Mom cooked a fantastic roast beef dinner complete with Yorkshire pudding, mashed potatoes, broccoli and carrots. After our early dinner, Dad played 'Happy Birthday' on his violin while the others sang. Then we enjoyed a slice of sinfully sumptuous cappuccino cheese-birthday-cake for desert. Mmmm.

Enjoyable moments defined our visit: opened my present from Mom and Dad (a book by one of this year's writers' fest authors and a beautiful pashmina shawl), tried out Mom's drums (what fun, what a racket, what - oops, that's another story...), spent time catching up with Mom and Dad, Daryle and Dad worked outside splitting wood, Daniel played Snood on Mom's computer and we all had a good time playing with Daniel at the playground.

Even the trip home and the rest of the evening went smoothly. I had just begun to get tucked into my book when the ferry began loading. Quick drive home, bit of a visit with my sister (another card and the promise of the Raconteurs' album Broken Boy Soldier), Daniel into bed making sure his tooth was ready for the Tooth Fairy's visit, crawl into bed myself. Aaaahhhh. Great day - indeed it was a very happy birthday.

Friday, January 29, 2010

Mine!

I'm feeling rather territorial and ornery lately. I stomp my little foot at the slightest provocation and declare that everyone back off!! Whatever IT is - IT'S MINE!!!

With my current state of mind today is unfolding particularly poorly. My ire flared up at snarly comments made to me when I called to collect payment for an overdue invoice - it is 114 days overdue!!!! How dare they not pay MY bills?! After a customer made some nasty remarks she asked when she should call me back with payment status; my reply was that she needn't call back at all, if I hadn't received her payment by next Friday the account was getting sent to a collections agency. Ouch.

Also, I strongly dislike anyone, individuals or businesses, messing with MY computer network at the office. I've been working on getting a new antivirus program in place on our server and desktops. I'm not impressed with the support from the last antivirus provider so I'm switching to a different one. However, I'm beginning to have doubts about the new provider as their first agreement, covering off a three year term, had been set up with incorrect information. The corrected second agreement looked fine, but their Internet links for electronically agreeing to terms and signing the contract weren't working. After wasting both my time and my computer tech's time, it was determined that 'technology had failed us'. Wrong - the antivirus company, with its lousy support, had failed us. Not a very good start to our business relationship.

On a personal level I'm feeling particularly disheartened, succumbing to episodes of 'blues' as MY birthday approaches. I'm not terribly upset that I'll be - deep breath in - thirty nine years old. With my birthday as a self-imposed deadline for trying to get pregnant, I'm having difficulty accepting the fact that I will NOT be pregnant again. I feel like my body has betrayed me. I'm also cringing at the thought that I'll need to get rid of the baby swing, snugglie, bottle warmer, strollers, co-sleeper, wooden rocking horse, maternity and baby clothes and many other related items, many of which are unused as they were gathered when we were expecting last year.

Plans for MY birthday haven't gone well either. Usually I like to take things as they come, I don't rock the boat and I certainly don't like to impose my own agenda on others. However, this year is different. I've just been terribly rude on the phone to a loved one about plans for my birthday. They wanted to get together to celebrate; not knowing of course, that I've been making every effort not to celebrate it at all. I would rather just putter in the garden, disappear into a movie, read a book or even lock myself in a room and turn the lights out. Really. It's my birthday - my birthday is the one day of the year that should be truly MINE. If I don't want anything done or celebrated that's my prerogative. Can you hear my foot stamping childishly in the background?

So, in one fell swoop I've upset everybody: loved ones, myself, Daryle and I'm fairly certain my tantrum wasn't well received at the office. HAPPY F-ING BIRTHDAY!!!

Okay, time to settle down. This behaviour is very undignified. After arriving at home, Daryle calmly took in my ranting and raving and then said: "You've been wanting to have a visit, why don't we ask if we can spend Sunday with them?"

Oh.

Yes.

A moment or two to let his idea sink in. That would be lovely. Quick call to ask if that would be alright and of course to apologise for my terrible behaviour and it is done - we're going up for a visit on Sunday!

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

One

One Subject - that's all I need. What to write today? I'm stumped. Can't think of a single thing that may be even remotely interesting. I could write about Daniel's mindreading machine, our efforts to build his playground, or my latest activities in the garden, but none of these are inspiring me at the moment.

Truth be told, more than anything else at the moment, I'm excited that someone, ONE person other than friends and family, has actually read and commented on my blog! 1!!!! 1 person has read it! I can see myself years from now, a small following - HA!!! What am I thinking? That will never happen, but it thrills me that someone took the time to read one of my entries.

Thank-you, you've made my day!

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Garden Rambles


With the recent stretch of mild sunny weather, I've been outside enjoying my garden. Bulbs are bursting through the ground, birds are already staking out their territories and tree buds are swelling. I can feel the push of nature to make the most of this fine weather. Although the calendar says we're still in the depths of winter, it seems that Mother Nature is itching to get on with the serious business of spring.

After making quite a racket in the trees, a pair of squirrels hurtle past me, chasing each other in a very friendly manner. Hmmm. They're not the only ones engaged in the race to reproduce. After they've scampered off I notice that my fine collection of chickweed is already flowering - AAACK! I'm already behind with weeding before my other plants have even woken up. Other chores beckon: laying down landscape fabric to be topped with bark mulch for certain pathways, terracing, edging with stones and starting the replacement of weeds with grass. I should make the most of this balmy weather and get working.

The unseasonable warmth is making every living thing livelier. Even I'm feeling a little more energetic than usual. Indoors, I've been sorting through cupboards and closets. Outdoors, I've been listening to my mp3 player and 'rocking out' as my neighbour's teen aged daughter puts it. Note to self: must modify 'rocking out' behaviour while gardening to a more subdued level; it just doesn't seem appropriate that my inner exuberation be on display to the world.

However, I'm not the only one full of energy, I see neighbours out walking and tidying up their yards. Both my grandfathers were gardeners, I wonder if they felt a renewed energy level in the spring when they began working outside again? Of course Grandpa S would have been working outdoors throughout the winter as that was his job, but did he feel the same joy when the plants began emerging? I know Grandpa A made every effort to begin his gardening season as early as possible. He had built a greenhouse and started many seedlings months ahead of the time they could be 'released' into the garden. I wish I could talk to both of them about their gardens, but time has robbed me of that pleasure.

Fortunately, I was able to spend time in both gardens. I remember the garden in Oxford as a magical place. Potted geraniums lined up like a little army were near the back door. The greenhouse, screened from the house by a tall hedge of lilacs, was like a gateway to the rear garden. Exploring further, among the redcurrant bushes, thickets of goldenrod reached for the sky and the verdant hues and heavenly scents of the mint bed sparkled with jewel-like beetles, their emerald-green bodies glistening in the sun. The front garden, though more restrained, was equally beautiful. A bed of yellow and red tulips surrounded a rosebush and an enormous pink hydrangea stood sentinel at the edge of the garden near the living room window. A clipped hedge of boxwood surrounded the small front garden and gave a sense of structure and orderliness.

Grandpa A's garden in Vancouver was a treasure as well. A small path led down the side of the house; narrow and dark between two houses, its tightness amplified the size of the back garden. Once into the back garden, beyond a small lawn and bed of asparagus, lay a pathway dividing the vegetable garden in half. The greenhouse on the left was filled with plants, trays and all sorts of interesting pots. Grandma's Christmas rose was nestled at the edge near the fence, and beans sprinted up the side of the garage. Renowned for his tomatoes, he grew rows and rows of them. He would carefully collect the seeds and label them for the next year's crops. Did he allow them to be openly pollinated or did he painstakingly manually pollinate them, trying to breed the perfect tomato? I guess I'll never know.

I wish I had known my grandfathers better. For example: if given the opportunity, would they have listened to music while they gardened or would they have preferred the noises inherent to their city gardens? Would they have approved of my methods of interplanting ornamentals with vegetables? What suggestions would they have about gardening on a hillside? Would Grandpa S have been able to teach me how to pleach? Would they have been enthusiastic about rescuing doomed plants destined to be bulldozed to make way for a new freeway?

Gardening is timeless, it is a direct connection to the earth with undercurrents of all the stirrings and energies of the seasons. It transcends time and place, tying generations together. Gardening is an outlet for our best and worst traits. We can peacefully tend our dear plants, creating our own vision of Eden, or wage a vicious and extended battle filled with hatred and disgust against disease, weeds and pests.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Devastation

Stunned and overwhelmed. Those are my feelings when I look at photos of the devastation from the earthquake in Haiti. So many people killed or injured, families torn apart, so much poverty to begin with that the people can’t begin to recover.

My life is so good, stable, safe and happy. My concerns are so trivial when compared to the Haitians trying to survive. I don’t have to worry about where our next meal will come from, where to find shelter or the whereabouts of my loved ones.

I don’t know where to start; I must do something, but what? I’ll donate some money to the Red Cross – they’ll be able to make the most of my contribution. But then what? I still feel that just doesn’t cut it.

Aside from my donation, I feel that all I can offer is a prayer. God bless the Haitians, give them the strength to carry on and give everyone the ability to give what they can towards their recovery.

Monday, January 18, 2010

Bog Walking

Sunshine! Let's get out for a walk!

Daryle, Daniel and I are in such a rush to escape the house, that we fail to dress appropriately for our excursion into Burns Bog in search of the abandoned and sunken Komatsu. Our shoes are all woefully inadequate, what are we thinking? We're going for a walk in a bog for heaven's sake! It WILL be wet and soggy - guaranteed.

Off we traipse down the pipeline pathway, stepping gingerly around mucky areas and hopping over puddles. The pipeline path's muckiness should have been a warning, if it's this mucky here, imagine the state of the bog.

Now, how to get into the bog... I think I remember where the access point is. Let's see, there was a zig-zaggy pathway coming down from the residential area on the left, then a little trail down to the railway tracks. Ah, here we are! A few steps down the hill, across the tracks, and we're on the access path to the bog. Yes!

Soon we find a boardwalk leading into the depths of the bog, hoping that it will lead us to the sunken Komatsu bulldozer. When I explored the bog as a teen, the bulldozer was still quite visible, I wonder how much, if anything, is left above the surface now?

We slip-slide our way along the slick boardwalk. It is as slippery as a sheet of ice; my feet slip out from under me a few times but I manage not to fall. Small miracle. Daniel however is not so lucky. Distracted by the sounds of an approaching pair of beagles, he spins around to look at them. Spins and then... tumbles off the boardwalk into the bog, landing on a surprisingly dryish patch. Stunned, he just lays there, his legs poking up into the air, his bum almost under the boards. The dogs approach to sniff at him. I wonder if he hasn't moved yet in hopes that the dogs will join him in the bog and begin playing.

No such luck, the dogs didn't leap in, and I quickly give Daniel a hand back up onto the boardwalk. He's just fine, sustained a very minor little scratch on his finger. We continue our walk.

Each path we follow becomes a dead-end as we are simply not prepared to slosh through muck or water more than half an inch deep. Some trails are completely submerged in water while others are just so boggy that I'm sure we would have sunk up to our knees. Surprise, surprise - a bog being boggy? Again, what were we thinking when we left the house? Hopes of finding the Komatsu dwindle.

Eventually, after more slipping and sliding, we literally stumble across the Komatsu! It must be 90% submerged in the bog, a film of oily scunge surrounding it. I'm rather surprised that so much of the blade is visible, its width a good indication of the size of the submerged machine. Only a foot or so of a corner of the cab's roll-cage peeps out of the orangey-brown ooze. Encircled by the boardwalk it looks like quite an attraction, to be oohed and awed at by passers by. Daniel is not impressed. Daryle and I however are quite thrilled to find it; I think we came for a walk down here before we even began dating. Must be about 20 years ago, yikes.

Mission accomplished, we begin heading for home. The bog really is an amazing place, filled with darkness, birdsong and strange smells. The diversity of plants and birds is incredible, I could quite happily spend an afternoon identifying some of the flora and fauna. Emerging, we're embraced by the sunshine once again, revelling in the unseasonable warmth.

Throughout our trek, Daniel has been our meet-and-greet. He so easily engages people in conversation, talking to them about whatever happens to be on his mind. One moment he's moaning to us about how sore and tired his feet are, then he perks up and is all smiles to chat with someone. Several people we met during our walk now know that he is almost 6 years old, likes dogs, has a loose tooth, likes the colour yellow, has friends named Mommy and Daddy, and his favourite animal is a cow. Oh, and he shares the name Daniel with the fellow walking the two beagles, who also happens to be the local carpenter who does a lot of work in our neighbourhood.

Daniel is happy to be returning home before nightfall. At only 2pm he is concerned that it is getting dark! I wonder sometimes at his apparent lack of sense of time. The reality is that we've been out walking for only an hour and a half, not the entire afternoon as it must have felt to Daniel. Perhaps his sense of time relates directly to how much his feet hurt, he must have been in a lot of pain judging by the amount of whining. At last our tired and soggy feet carry us home. I love the feeling of returning home comfortably tired.

Friday, January 8, 2010

New Year, High Hopes

I wish everyone a healthy and prosperous 2010. Sounds pretty typical doesn't it? The pat phrase that gets thrown out there when people don't have anything more intelligent to say to one another, yet feel compelled to say something nice.

It is true though, I do wish my friends and family a healthy and prosperous year. Including myself. It is about time I took my health seriously. Aging seems to bring health issues into slightly sharper focus, as opposed to the focus achieved when looking through these slightly more aged eyes of mine. Not that I have any serious health issues to be concerned with. Considering my weight, it is rather surprising that I don't have high blood pressure or diabetes.

As 2010 is still very young, I'm going to make a resolution. I resolve to lose 40 pounds this year. There, I've said it. The resolution I've been unwilling to say out loud is much easier said in print, especially when contained in an anonymous blog. I'll keep you posted with my trials and tribulations. I'm already dreaming about the fun things I'll be able to do when I shed a few: rock climbing (just don't look down), skiing (just don't look down) and tight-rope walking (just don't look down). Okay, I was just kidding about the last item, I have sensitive feet and I'm sure tight-rope walking wouldn't be very comfortable.

What resolutions have you made? Exercise more, drink less, spend more time with the family, take time to relax, travel more...? Be strong and determined - you already know what in your own life needs improvement. Ignore all the crap we get bombarded with: be skinny, be perfect, be nice to everyone, be available 24 hours a day, etc. My advice is this: be true to yourself and the ones you love. I love this quote by Mary Baker Eddy: To live and let live, without clamour for distinction or recognition; to wait on divine love; to write truth first on the tablet of one's own heart - this is the sanity and perfection of living.

Writing truth on the tablet of one's heart? Tricky, very tricky. Seriously, if the truth hurts then I'm in for a lot of pain this year. Is it about being honest with myself and approaching life with integrity? Is it conforming with facts or realtiy? How dull. Fact, veracity, sincerity, candor, frankness, precision and exactness; all synonymous with truth. Candor, yikes, now there's a heavy word. I'm often not candid with others. My aversion to inconveniencing, hurting or confronting others is so strong that I have great difficulty saying "no". I usually take the easier route of lying to or deceiving myself; then out of guilt I often continue down the path of self-betrayal with self-destructive behaviour.

For example, yesterday afternoon my self-destructive behaviour was in full swing. While waiting for Daryle and Daniel to arrive home after I'd had a particularly stressful day at work, I found myself inhaling a half-dozen cookies. No! This has to stop!!! I will be strong, this behaviour ends NOW. From today, of course after consuming a far-too-large lunch, I resolve to treat myself better. This involves eating less, learning new things and becoming more active.

This year I have the good fortune of combining both prosperity and health by possibly returning to school. My employer has generously offered to send me back to school for further education. I would benefit two-fold: the professional development would be fantastic and the "brain food" would help keep my brain in good working order. With Alzheimer’s in the family, my brain needs all the help it can get. I'll soon be giving BCIT and Kwantlen each a call to set up appointments to discuss what my educational future holds.

So here I am, embarking on a year that holds such promise. Wish me the strength to stick to my weight loss resolution and be truthful to myself. Perhaps I should begin by signing up for some therapy. Sounds like I'll need help in overcoming my fear of heights and dealing with self-confidence issues. I'd better get on with it - gotta go!