New Year, High Hopes

I wish everyone a healthy and prosperous 2010. Sounds pretty typical doesn't it? The pat phrase that gets thrown out there when people don't have anything more intelligent to say to one another, yet feel compelled to say something nice.

It is true though, I do wish my friends and family a healthy and prosperous year. Including myself. It is about time I took my health seriously. Aging seems to bring health issues into slightly sharper focus, as opposed to the focus achieved when looking through these slightly more aged eyes of mine. Not that I have any serious health issues to be concerned with. Considering my weight, it is rather surprising that I don't have high blood pressure or diabetes.

As 2010 is still very young, I'm going to make a resolution. I resolve to lose 40 pounds this year. There, I've said it. The resolution I've been unwilling to say out loud is much easier said in print, especially when contained in an anonymous blog. I'll keep you posted with my trials and tribulations. I'm already dreaming about the fun things I'll be able to do when I shed a few: rock climbing (just don't look down), skiing (just don't look down) and tight-rope walking (just don't look down). Okay, I was just kidding about the last item, I have sensitive feet and I'm sure tight-rope walking wouldn't be very comfortable.

What resolutions have you made? Exercise more, drink less, spend more time with the family, take time to relax, travel more...? Be strong and determined - you already know what in your own life needs improvement. Ignore all the crap we get bombarded with: be skinny, be perfect, be nice to everyone, be available 24 hours a day, etc. My advice is this: be true to yourself and the ones you love. I love this quote by Mary Baker Eddy: To live and let live, without clamour for distinction or recognition; to wait on divine love; to write truth first on the tablet of one's own heart - this is the sanity and perfection of living.

Writing truth on the tablet of one's heart? Tricky, very tricky. Seriously, if the truth hurts then I'm in for a lot of pain this year. Is it about being honest with myself and approaching life with integrity? Is it conforming with facts or realtiy? How dull. Fact, veracity, sincerity, candor, frankness, precision and exactness; all synonymous with truth. Candor, yikes, now there's a heavy word. I'm often not candid with others. My aversion to inconveniencing, hurting or confronting others is so strong that I have great difficulty saying "no". I usually take the easier route of lying to or deceiving myself; then out of guilt I often continue down the path of self-betrayal with self-destructive behaviour.

For example, yesterday afternoon my self-destructive behaviour was in full swing. While waiting for Daryle and Daniel to arrive home after I'd had a particularly stressful day at work, I found myself inhaling a half-dozen cookies. No! This has to stop!!! I will be strong, this behaviour ends NOW. From today, of course after consuming a far-too-large lunch, I resolve to treat myself better. This involves eating less, learning new things and becoming more active.

This year I have the good fortune of combining both prosperity and health by possibly returning to school. My employer has generously offered to send me back to school for further education. I would benefit two-fold: the professional development would be fantastic and the "brain food" would help keep my brain in good working order. With Alzheimer’s in the family, my brain needs all the help it can get. I'll soon be giving BCIT and Kwantlen each a call to set up appointments to discuss what my educational future holds.

So here I am, embarking on a year that holds such promise. Wish me the strength to stick to my weight loss resolution and be truthful to myself. Perhaps I should begin by signing up for some therapy. Sounds like I'll need help in overcoming my fear of heights and dealing with self-confidence issues. I'd better get on with it - gotta go!