Feeling Guilty

Forgive me. I derailed on the weekend. I've been doing so well over the last few weeks, straying only a few times from my new eating habits. However, this weekend I succumbed to my own weakness for sugar. I'm back on track now, but I'm ashamed of my recent behaviour at the kitchen counter.

The whole sordid affair happened when I was tidying up the house and decided to throw out the remains of my son's gingerbread house. Stale and dusty, it clearly was no longer wanted by anyone in the family. Usually, I can resist such temptation, but this time I didn't just quickly throw it in the garbage. I looked at it. Closely. There was a teeny tiny piece of gingerbread underneath the wreckage and it was perfect: 1 piece of candy, some royal icing, no accumulation of dust. I gave in to temptation. Mmmmmm - stale gingerbread. What was I thinking? More is what I was thinking. Then I gave in to temptation again with a larger piece. Yikes! I felt like I was out of control - in a flat spin! While I did throw some out, it wasn't anywhere near the original quantity that I'd planned on chucking.

Of course I felt crummy afterwards. Whether it was just from my guilt or the spike in my blood glucose levels, I don't know, but I felt awful. I felt so ashamed that I even lied about what had happened to the last of the gingerbread house. "It all went in the garbage sweetie," I told my son "nobody wanted it any more." I half expected a lightning bolt to come down and smite me.

It's funny how guilt works. I automatically assumed that my continued weight loss would have been side-lined, and that I wouldn't be as content upon my return to my now-usual healthy eating habits. Happily, despite my over-indulgence, my weight loss is still on track and I'm content this morning with my usual breakfast of one grapefruit and one green pepper, both cut up into chunks and munched on throughout the morning.

Wish me luck in resisting future temptation. With two family birthdays on the horizon, the next few weeks will be a test of my willpower... how does one make a birthday cake for an 8 year old without sampling the icing?