Popcorn

I crave popcorn. Constantly. It is like an addiction.

We have an air popper and within minutes I can have a nice bowl of yummy fresh, hot popcorn, ready to be devoured. The air popper itself is nothing special, in fact it is a rather sad affair. The glue on the top portion has come unstuck and at the slightest touch the contraption falls apart, clattering to the counter with a racket. The popcorn hopper/dumper routinely falls out of its guide holes and the metal butter melting tray is missing altogether. I use an upside down candy tin lid to block the hole (it’s quite a feat to get the hot lid back on the candy tin just after the popcorn has popped). The important thing is that the machine works.

Getting the butter melted is also rather fun. I always feel a little sinister as I stab at the block of butter trying to break off suitably sized chunks. I tried melting the butter in the upside down candy tin lid – once. The butter didn’t fully melt and what a mess it made! I couldn’t even return the lid to the candy tin right away as it needed a good washing.

So, after drizzling the butter as evenly as possible over the popped corn, then scraping the last traces of butter out of the dish using some popped kernels I give the bowl a couple of light shakes of salt. It would seem that my popcorn is ready! Hallelujah! Not quite. I can’t fully enjoy myself until the cleanup is done. I always get it over and done with prior to enjoying my treat. The popcorn maker gets whisked back up onto the shelf and the butter, salt and candy tin lid are tidied up as quickly as possible.

At last I can enjoy my bowl of popcorn!

As I’m sure any other obsessed person would do, I approach the popcorn with a particular method. The goal is to save the butteriest piece until the very last. The plain, unbuttery pieces get eaten first, and so on. Do I really SORT my popcorn? Yes, yes I do. Needless to say, this is a pastime best done alone. No sharing. How could I possibly pick up a piece, inspect it, then put it back in the bowl if I was sharing?

In my efforts to rehabilitate my eating habits I was planning on forgoing my popcorn fetish tonight, but… I think my buttery treat is calling me. Perhaps tomorrow would be a better time to begin using my willpower. Excuse me, I’ve got to retrieve my decrepit popcorn maker from the shelf…Sorry, but I won't be sharing.