On the Level

On so many levels I’m feeling really good.

#1: Parental

I’m trying a different approach to interacting with Daniel. On Friday evening I attended a brilliant lecture with one of my best friends. The lecture, given by Dr. Gordon Neufeld, was called “Making sense of discipline”. It should be called “How to Enable Your Child to Show You How Much They Want Your Love”. He discussed the science behind the old-fashioned methods of discipline, such as spanking, yelling, time-outs, consequences, and how they don’t let us achieve the end result that we’re after (a happy, well-bonded, well-behaved child). This left me feeling “Okay, fine. I can see the logic, but now what? What are my tools to parent? How can I keep my children attached to me and keep him from becoming overly sheltered, spoiled, or continually on the defensive?” During the second half of the lecture Dr. Neufeld discussed his twelve recommendations to foster adult-child attachment. I was all ears, trying to soak up every drop of guidance. While he had no quick-n-easy fix to discipline issues, he provided information to enable parents and others that work with children to re-think how they deal with issues.

I’ve tried a few techniques with Daniel this past weekend with moderate success. Actually, I should re-evaluate my success. If I’m looking at things from the point of obtaining Daniel’s co-operation while retaining my cool and not yelling, then I had 100% success. It’s just that it wasn’t easy, I had to think and work at it, and really isn’t that what I should be doing as a loving parent? Thinking about how to interact with him without having him fear me, the consequences, or the loss of love?

#2: Professional

I’m ploughing through a lot of year-end and other day-to-day material. I’m so happy to at last see the mountain of paperwork on my desk diminish. Hard to believe, but it is actually becoming smaller! I’m also pleased to be registered to a conference in March to glean information about many HR issues: pension and benefits law, federal law, immigration law and personal privacy relating to medical information. Of particular interest will be the mock trial at lunchtime entitled: How long is long enough? When will the courts allow you to terminate for absence due to illness?

#3: Marital

I’m doing my best to re-connect with Darrell. It has been challenging for us to stay connected as a couple since becoming a family of four. I’m trying to make sure that we have some together time each week without the boys. Even if it’s just to sit and talk or make plans together. Tonight, if we can stay awake after the boys have gone to sleep, I’m going to stay with him in the living room while I hem some pants and just talk. Turn off the TV and just talk. We’ve got a weekend away planned before the end of February as well.

#4: Personal

I’m taking charge of my health and well-being. I’m pre-diabetic and embracing it! I know, it doesn’t sound like something to be stoked about, but it has become such a positive part of my life that I can’t but help feeling great about it. I’ve lost 17 pounds so far, just by monitoring what I eat. I don’t skip any meals; I don’t “do without” any food group either. I’ve just restricted the amount and type of carbs that I eat. Also, I’ve reduced the number of foods that have multiple unpronounceable ingredients. Doesn’t sound too bad, does it?

The results are lovely: I’m maintaining good blood glucose levels, losing weight at a reasonable rate and I’m feeling so much better. I didn’t realize just how poorly I had been feeling. I can wear tops and coats that I haven’t been able to wear in years! Take my pale pink wool coat for example, for years I wasn’t able to even button it up, but now I’ve got it buttoned and I’m able to wear a thick sweater underneath – at the SAME TIME! So, if you see me walking down the street in some really absurd outfit, don’t laugh, I’m just thrilled to finally be wearing something that has been hanging in my closet for years. My tummy doesn’t protrude quite as much as it did and I feel much lighter in my shoes.

#5: Decorator…al (I can’t think of a word synonymous with “decorator” that ends in “al”)

I’m doing my very best to get Daniel’s bedroom finished. I’m debating whether or not I’ll finish painting Daniel’s room myself or if I should hire someone to come in and do the painting for me. I should go with the later, as I don’t have the time to do any of the things I want to do, let alone the chores I’m not particularly good at and/or not looking forward to doing.

How are your various and sundry …als? Are you feeling good about where you’re at, where you’re headed? I’d love to hear from you.