What's This About?

My ordinary day to day life. Thoughts and musings on the realities of my existence.

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Nervous, Worried

I don't know what to say. I'm quite worried about my sight.

I'm going to see my optometrist at 11:00 this morning. Best case scenario: give it time, your sight will get better in a few days. Worst case scenario: you've permanently damaged your eyes and you're going blind (little melodramatic - no?)

This has come on so suddenly. I noticed it when I began work last Monday morning. It got progressively worse through the week and I've got big problems this morning, just over a week later.

My reality is such that I can barely see my computer screen - I can barely see the words I'm typing. Colours are slowly vanishing - they've been reduced to various shades of grey. On the weekend, for example, when I tried to play I-spy with Daniel, I couldn't tell that the item he was spying was even green - it looked dark grey to me. This morning I thought I had taken my dark blue sweater out of closet and only realized that I had my grey sweater on when there was no tie to wrap around me.

I took the family for a drive yesterday. I wanted to "kidnap" Daryle and the boys and go to Fort Langley. But as I drove along it became such a strain, both on my eyes and on my nerves. I was unable to see how much fuel I have and the speedometer is very difficult to see. I felt worried that I'd miss observing some critical event that I should be able to avoid, but wouldn't be able to see and react to quickly enough to avoid an accident. I asked Daryle to drive and after we switched seats I quietly cried, tears welling up.What am I going to do if I'm going blind?

I need to be strong - I can't let anyone know I'm so worried. But I don't think I can carry on hiding it for long.

Where the hell is the cursor!!!!! I had to hit "control end" to locate the damned thing. I was going to edit some of my text above, but can't navigate through the text with either the arrow keys or the mouse. Anger. Frustration. As I can't see the frigging screen - I'm signing off. I'll try to keep you posted when I'm back. With any luck I'll have happy news.

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