Bottle Baby. I Wish.

Already three months old, my little Andy has distinct personality traits shining through. He's stubborn. Very. He's also cheerful, content, playful, flirty and curious. He gets quite bored with the same scenery after awhile and I find myself happily challenged to keep his little mind occupied.

When Daniel was tiny we fought to get him to breastfeed, but he flat out refused to nurse and we reluctantly gave in to bottle-feeding him. In Andy's case, he refuses to take the bottle. As part of my arrangement with work, I need to go into the office fairly regularly and I'd like to leave Andy with Liz, our daycare lady. However, I can hardly leave him with her if he's refusing to take a bottle. It's not fair on either of them (or the other children) if Andy's screaming for a feed and she's not able to give him a bottle.

We've tried everything we can think of, including going 'cold turkey' in our efforts to coerce him to take a bottle. Well, after hours of Andy shrieking and crying I gave up. He was sweating, trying to throw up, the soft-spot on his head was indented indicating that he was dehydrated and the look of terror in his face broke my heart. And the stress of the ordeal was causing my milk to start drying up. Each time I pumped at our regular feeding times I was getting less and less milk. Yikes! You can imagine my alarm at thinking that my milk was disappearing and he was still refusing a bottle. Soon we'd really be in a mess!

After all was said and done I snuggled with him in our usual spot on the couch and breastfed him. I have since made several attempts to get him to take a bottle, but his reaction remained the same (I didn't let it go so far as the dehydration though). Well-meaning friends and a couple of books on child-rearing have said that we should bottle-feed for two days straight. But I just can't imagine how ill he would be before he actually took the bottle. What really puzzles me though is that he did take it quite successfully when he was younger. We had made a point of introducing it quite regularly and at an early age. I'm at a loss as to why he won't take one now. I'm guessing that the slow-flow bottle nipple frustrated him and after we had purchased the fast-flow nipples he had already made up his mind. He wanted nothing to do with the bottle. But this I do know: there must be a more humane way for me to get the work done that I need to and keep my sweet little baby happy and well-fed.

As he is now showing interest in eating our food and he's able to hold his head up I will introduce him to infant rice cereal. I'm hoping that once he's eating some solids, I can take him to daycare and the solids will carry him through a bit of the afternoon before I'm back and can nurse him again.

A September Morning

I found this little note among my paperwork and thought it deserved a quick entry. I think it was from September when I was still expecting and keeping on top of my gestational diabetes.

I've woken up as usual at about 3:00am. Pay a quick visit then head to the kitchen for my nightly snack. Pour a glass of milk and munch on a few nuts to slow down the absorption of the carbs in the milk. Back to bed.

When Daniel wakes up, he comes and snuggles with me for a few minutes then asks if he can make his breakfast. Splendid idea kiddo. "You can make yourself some toast if you'd like, I'm going to have a shower first then I'll come out to the kitchen." My sweet, thoughtful son has a surprise waiting for me when I come into the kitchen a few minutes later. He's made a piece of toast for me and has put half of his chocolate chip cookie (if Daryle has to leave for work before Daniel's up in the morning he leaves a cookie on Daniel's placemat) with my toast. How sweet.

Germ Warfare

When picking Daniel up from school on Thursday he exclaims "Mom, I got some stickers today!!! See!?" Awesome... Daniel's excitement about a sheet of cartoon germ and virus stickers misleads me into thinking he actually liked the video and demonstration on how to stay healthy by keeping our hands clean. As we saunter to the van, Andy bobbing sleepily in his car seat along the way, Daniel tells me all about germs, viruses, protozoa and bacteria. Chatting happily, the sun warming our faces, we talk about his day, blissfully unaware of what a nightmare awaits us tonight.

As Daniel seems quite keen on the concept of hand-washing to battle the baddies, we decide to use his stickers to make a little poster. Positive re-enforcement - we give ourselves a pat on the back for our stellar parenting skills. The thought is to put it on his door to remind him to keep his hands clean, etc.

Cheerfully, we look on as he places the stickers on the bright blue sheet of paper. "Ooooo, that's a scary one Daniel" I comment as he places a cartoon protozoa on his poster. "This germ's really bad Mom, it can kill you." Daniel's dead serious too. He's no longer using his funny play voice, but his I-mean-business voice. My quick reply to him that that's why hand washing is so important does nothing to reassure him. Uh-oh. As he continues to dwell on the thought of the germ, Daryle and I try explain that the germ isn't going to kill us. Not in the near future anyhow. However, Daniel remains very focused on the germ. Within minutes we put the poster away and try to distract him by talking about other things.

That night, for the first time in years, Daniel requests a nightlight. With Andy already asleep in his crib, I quietly try to find a nightlight for Daniel's room. I rifle through Andy's armoire... here we are... Daniel's old moon lamp will do just fine. Now, where on earth are the electrical outlets in this room? After managing not to tip over Daniel's stack of games on his bookcase, I get the lamp plugged in and Daniel settles into bed. He tells me he's afraid that the germs are going to come and get him in the night. In my tired state, I tell him that germs don't care whether it is light or dark, they don't have eyes. Well, didn't that just set the poor guy up for a bunch of nightmares?!!

Daniel could not stay in bed. Period. He wanted me to snuggle with him in his bed, then when I went to my own, he decided to visit Daryle out on the couch in the living room. Roughly an hour later, he woke me up to ask to climb into bed with me. As I thought Daryle might come to bed soon, I set Daniel up with a soft towel from the bathroom and a blanket from the living room. He added his pillow to complete his makeshift bed on the floor near me. Unable to settle, he talked and talked and talked. This isn't working - back to bed kiddo. "Mommeeee, I can't sleep." "You don't need to sleep, just lay there with your eyes closed and think of things that make you happy." Well, you get the drift of how the night went...

It wasn't much better the next night either. I tried to implement his Clifford stuffie as a confidant for him. "Tell Clifford all about your DS and what you're looking forward to in school tomorrow." Daniel still got up half a dozen times. He tries so hard to stay in his bed. As the night crawls on his calls wake me: Mommeeeee... I need an adult to be beside me. Mommeeeee... I'm lonely. Mommeeeee... It's too dark. Mommeeeee... the germs are going to get me.

By Sunday he's an emotional wreck. The lack of sleep and constant worrying have reduced him to a teary-eyed overwrought fretting little guy. Tears running down his cheeks and his nose running he approaches me and claims "I'll be sad when you're dead Mommy." Yikes! Explaining further he says that the germs are going to get me and Daryle. Oh dear, this is spiralling out of control. Despite spending the weekend trying to reassure him, he's more freaked out than ever.

Sunday night I implement our battle plan. We're going to give Daniel a bath every night just before bed to wash all the germs down the drain. EVERY NIGHT. Not such a bad thing. Daniel agrees that the germs won't be able to come and get him if they've been washed down the drain. Good.

It is now the following Saturday and I'm very pleased to report that Daniel is again sleeping through the night. Our bedtime routine has been slightly modified to include an extended story time in addition to the bath. Together these two things make for a very relaxing, bonding bedtime. Daniel isn't feeling lonely, and the germs have been banished down the drain.

Welcome Back

Ahhh.... January. What a lovely month. I've always loved its crispness. Frost adds a touch of delicate lace to everything overnight, the sky (when not pelting rain) is a pale clear blue inviting me to go for a walk.

Rejuvenated this morning after a good sleep, I think I'll do my chores quickly, make a nice light lunch then pack up Andy in his stroller and get a leg-stretch before having to rush off and pick up Daniel from school. Feels like ages since I last managed a walk outside.

Yesterday was much like a roller coaster: very fast-paced with a lot of ups and downs. I left Andy with Mom while I went into work to go over year-end with Mr A and review his files for our official hand-off for his retirement. Poor Mom was trying to bottle-feed Andy, but he wasn't having any of it. For such a little thing, he's very determined to have his own way. Andy, I promise I will never again ask you to go on the bottle for such a long stretch of time again, poor little guy. We'll just have to wait for you to begin drinking from a sippy cup and begin eating solids. Poor thing - he was so upset. Kudos to Mom for so patiently trying to re-introduce him to a bottle.

This entry, although not much of a story, is a quick and simple effort to get back into blogging. I hope to have a more entertaining blog entry soon.